Nothing too important

After realizing that I've been playing like shit lately..I've decided to spend more time focusing on my play.. talking through each possible line I can take.. so far it seems to be working. This blog is pretty useless, but I'm just happy I've had my first winning session (+8 sng buyins or so) in just over a month.. hope to keep this confidence going :)

A friendly letter to poker sites

Dear poker sites (Poker Stars, Full Tilt, Bodog.. and soon RPM poker)

Can you please make it possible for these 2 things to happen:

1) Stop me from running into the absolute top of everyone's range.
2) The rare times I'm not running into hands that crush me.. please allow me to hold from time to time.

This is all I ask.

Thank you,

Ice

Honesty

Being honest with oneself is one of the most important qualities a person can have. Without it, someone can go their entire lives with large personality flaws and not even realize it. These are the type of flaws that can really mess up some big things in a persons life.. whether it be relationships, careers, families, or friendships. The more honest you are in life about the big things..those that are most important.. the easier it is to be honest about smaller things in life. Lately, poker has been the thing I've been focusing most of my thinking time on.. and after talking to some people I respect, I realized my poker game isn't solid enough to do what I want to do in the future. In fact, it's not even really that good. How do I know it's not good? I only feel it's good when I'm running well. IMO, even if things are going bad, you should still have the confidence in your game to work through it, and if you don't..that's a sign that there are some huge leaks that need to be fixed.

Over the last few days, I've come to the realization that my game simply isn't that good. It's good enough to be a marginal winner when things are going well.. but I'm realizing that I'm barely a better player than I was a year or two ago. I certainly think about poker differently in a theoretical sense...but when it comes to actually playing, I still make many of the same mistakes I did then. This is why I've realized I need to really focus on reconstructing the way I play and, more importantly, the way I think while playing. Too much auto-pilot... to much of taking the standard line when it's obvious that another line is a better play.. not enough thinking things through. I want to take the rest of the year to make myself a better player on and off the tables.. and I'm going to do that while playing at 2 new sites.

For most of my poker time, I've played pretty much all of my hands at poker stars.. and then added some full tilt poker in the last year or so. Now I plan on grinding softer sites. I have some money on bodog atm that I plan on nursing through sngs into a bankroll for 10nl (the lowest offered on bodog).. and I plan on clearing as much of the ftp bonus as I can, and then moving to rpm poker (merge network) for their amazingly soft games (according to bonuswhores.com) and 30-40% rakeback. It makes no sense for me to grind on the toughest sites available, when easy money is available at smaller sites. I'm not looking to become the next durrrr and beat up the 500/1k games.. I'm looking to make some decent side money to help pad savings accounts, help pay off student loans, allow me to do extra fun things, and maybe sock some into retirement... and I think playing at the soft sites helps me achieve those goals much easier.

For now.. the plan is to stop being a hypocrite. For those that know me, they know I post in the beginners forum on 2p2 a lot.. probably more than I should.. and I always offer advice for how to get better (watch dc videos, study, get review sessions, post hands etc..) and I have never once followed any of that advice.. and it's time I start.

The goals I set out for 2009 at the beginning of this blog no longer apply.. 2009 is now about starting over and learning to do it right.. or being honest with myself and realize that I won't be anything more than a casual micro grinder who failed to reach any potential I might have.... either way, the final months of 2009 will be interesting but tough.

I'm back

July went 99% great. Won a 4.40, had a few deep runs in donkaments, 2 final tables.. couldn't complain about much until the final 2 days before my move where I went on a $200 buyin downswing... pretty gross but oh well.. it's what I get for playing so poorly.

So now I'm moved and starting to get settled into my new place in South Carolina. I like it here so far.. people/attitudes are much different here than what I'm used to, but I'll get somewhat used to it I guess. Haven't really played much poker since I just got my internet connected yesterday.. so Monday I'll be back on the grind, and I'm looking forward to it!!! :)

I will be sticking to my plan of grinding cash games after my move.. starting at 5nl.. mostly because that's what I'm rolled for atm..and also because I need to get used to cash games again. I plan on spending Sunday's playing donkaments with any t$ I might accumulate though fpp sng's, but I will pretty much just stick to 4.40/180s and a few select mtt's. While internet-less, I spent a good portion of time reflecting on what it is I hope to accomplish in the last few months of 2009, and where I hope to go in 2010, so I spent some time really giving myself some goals and direction to get to where I want to be. If I really can stick with this, I still think I can at least be taking shots at 50nl by the time 2010 hits.. at the very least though I'd like to be a 25nl reg, which is very doable in 4 months imo. I'll do a quick cliff notes version of my goals for aug-dec.. leaving out quite a few:

- 5nl - at least 25nl reg, hopefully taking shots at 50nl
- Stick to 3-4 tabling, and learn to focus on just poker
- Start taking notes, posting in forums, and watching videos
- min. 20k hands per month
- min. 6bb/100 at each level before moving up
- Keep sngs/mtts to Sundays and some Saturdays
- Blog more :)